So… I’ve been running an experiment over the last month. It started out as a bit of a joke actually. I am reading a book series and the final book has been in progress for over a decade. When I discovered this I was a little upset, probably somewhat irrationally so, but the first two books are just SO good! Anyway, upon learning of this delay I told a friend: “I’m going to call him and tell him I can solve his writer’s block, and I’ll do it for free if that means we get the final book.” The response was a laugh and then the challenge: “Do you think you could actually solve the creative block? You don’t even know what it is.”
The answer was yes, I do think so… but since the proof is in the pudding, I figured maybe I should just put this to the test. And so I recruited a couple of writers who have been struggling for a while, and not for lack of trying, and started the experiment to test my theory. While I could share the results of how that went or talk about the upcoming group workshop, what I’m actually excited to write about is the thing underneath the block. Because… that’s just the symptom. And as it turns out, the block itself is not the absence of something, but rather the presence of a thing.
So many writers have had their book on their “this year” list for multiple years running. Spoiler alert: they’re all still on the list to be completed this year. But after a brief conversation it becomes clear that they have all of the following:
They’re clear on the subject
They have enough content/research data
They’re experienced in the process or have even published before
They have time
These are not discipline problems. Well… for the most part, some definitely show an extraordinary talent for finding distraction, for example had their sewing machine shipped to their new home and picked up sewing again after 6 years.
There is nothing missing for them to be able to move forward. So they’ve done what most people do: they join accountability groups, apply all the optimisation and productivity hacks, read more, try and force it, one even sat in front of her writing and sent it love for at least 10 minutes every day…. Clearly everything has been tried to move the writing forward. But, I reckon you can already guess how it goes when you try and force it.
And so we came back to the conclusion that nothing is missing. As we dive deeper what we see across all of them is the presence of something. It’s far from obvious, and yet very active. And very much “in service” to ourselves.
When we experience a block, whether it be in writing or in any other aspect of life, our subconscious is working together with our nervous system to protect us from something. Because neither of these operate with time, nor do they understand logic or reason, they might be protecting us from something that happened five, ten, twenty years ago, or something that never really happened but is just a feeling or belief we adopted.
The reason this creates a block is twofold:
Because the protection is aimed at something we can’t see. What we experience is the resistance without the reason, which is why it reads as a personal failing rather than as something doing a job. If it’s there to help then why is it preventing what we want? And the discrepancy between what’s intended and how it’s experienced creates a disconnect in our psyche.
Because whatever the thing is we’re protecting ourselves from hasn’t had a chance to be processed. Think of it as a circuit. It’s an open loop and before the light bulb can shine, the loop has to close.
Sometimes it’s something obvious like:
My parents told me this was a waste of time.
I was ridiculed in school for my work.
I’m afraid of rejection
What if it’s not perfect
I don’t have the “right” credentials
Sometimes it’s not at all obvious and buried under logic, story and feelings we’re ok with feeling. With one of the writers, while we started talking about their writing and their complaint about lacking structure, when we went into the work it was actually about a sense of helplessness. After the session when we were discussing the, now closed, loop and what was surprising to them, they said “Partly that I believed being in a state of helplessness would attract others to be around me and stay with me. I think also trauma keeping me stuck in one way of being, a helpless state, and making it difficult for me to see other choices.”
A belief formed a long way from any desk, about what keeps people close, showing up years later as a blank page and a book that stays on the to-do list.
And after doing this for a while, here are some of the more common non-obvious ones:
If I finish it, I can’t hide behind the safety of not knowing if I’m good or not.
If it does well, I have to do it again.
Staying stuck is what keeps people checking in on me.
If I succeed at this, I leave certain people behind.
My own judgement can’t be trusted, so I need someone else’s first.
Letting someone see it early is how my voice gets taken over.
If I want it this much, it can be taken away.
Wanting it makes me like the people I decided not to be.
If feeling a little stuck is something you’ve been experiencing lately, you might recognise yourself in one or two. (Surprise! We don’t just have one.) While that recognition can be useful, recognition alone rarely fixes it. Sometimes, sure, but not often. You can name a belief, be able to trace it to the experience that formed it, understand exactly why it’s doing what it’s doing, and still sit down tomorrow to the same blank page. Because as we mentioned before your subconscious and your nervous system aren’t waiting on an explanation, they’re waiting to find out whether the thing they’re guarding against is still a threat. Until there’s an answer it can feel, they will continue to do what they do best: hold the line.
That’s the part that’s actually workable, though. And it doesn’t have to be difficult or take a long time. Once the loop is closed, the protection isn’t needed, and what you’re left with is a freedom around the project rather than a fight with yourself over it.
Which brings me back to the author. Going on two decades is a long time to be protected from something. I still intend to find his number and call him.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, whether just a little, or really really stuck: I’m hosting a group workshop next week for those who are interested in exploring the work without a massive commitment. You can find out more here.
For those who do want to explore a deeper engagement, let’s talk!